Leaving An Indelible Mark

Reva Lachica Wallace
(This Sharing Time was written back in 2002 when I was a widow).

With the start of a New Year, I couldn't help but reflect back on my life. Have I been the best example of a friend, daughter, mother, or even a stranger? I have to admit I never even tried nor thought of being one. Two weeks ago, my son Adam lamented on the absence of Christmas decorations in our home. Looking for an excuse, I was quick to say, "I just don't have the incentive anymore." "But Mom, Cliff and I are still here with you," the boy retorted. He was right. For the past four Christmases after my husband's death, not a single Christmas decoration had left its place in the closet. My reason: during the first two years, even Adam, himself, said, "With daddy gone, there's no use to have a Christmas tree." So I thought it right to continue; but with Adam's complaints, I realized I'd been leaving an unhappy mark in their memories the past few Christmases. Everyday, everywhere, we leave indelible marks in places and in people's hearts. Two years ago my son Cliff, a medical technologist, came home from his first day of work at the Our Lady of the Lake Hospital here in Baton Rouge. He said that many people remembered him when he was just a toddler. I used to take him to the laboratory. "Are you Reva's son? How is she?" asked those who remembered me when I worked there some twenty years ago. Cliff said that someone brought pictures of me the following day to show him. They talked about how a good worker I was. I haven't been back to that old lab since I left, and probably would notremember even a face. How do these people remember me? I worked there for only 4 months (notice NOT years). My son said, "Mom, you told me once a long time ago that you drew pictures of hematology cells and posted them in front of the microscopes. Do you know those pictures are still there and we're still using them?" I was very surprised. In the four months that I worked in that lab, I had scrubbed every inch of space to perfection and meticulously drawn those pictures. And 20 years later, they're still being used? Every once in a while, I'd run into folks who'd remind me about the times I had prayed with them, or helped in some kind of way. I received these e-mails not too long ago: "You are always so kind and generous. I will never forget the time when I went to visit you nearly 10 years ago. I don't know if you remember, but you took me shopping and told me to pick anything I wanted. Never in my life had anyone told me or offered anything like it. I felt like my Christmas came all at once. If only you know how I feel. That memory will always be with me for the rest of my life. Thanks again!" ~ Joy from Australia"Ma'am, I just want to tell you that you have forever changed my life for the better." ~ Pastor Rudny from the Philippines"Ma'am, You don't know me but someone gave me a copy of your letter about Jesus. For someone like you who now lives in America, you still have the humbleness and love to think of us people here in the Philippines." ~ Evelyn"Mom Reva, I hope that I'll be able to pay back your sacrifice to send me to college. If not to you, maybe to others." ~ adopted son - Reuben Villanueva ( Adventist University of the Philippines)But I wish I could say that the indelible marks I've left were all pleasant. Unfortunately, not all. I have a friend who will probably never forgive me for a tactless remark that I made, telling him that a certain person is a better pianist than he. In my hopes to spark interest in him to like my girlfriend pianist, I jokingly said those words. But instead, my not-well-thought out words were like daggers piercing his heart. And I've asked for forgiveness many times. This friend still refuses to talk with me. Sometimes in our frustrations, we also say the most horrible things, especially to our loved ones. Yet, we are on our best behavior with others. Hurting words once said cannot be taken back. It can gnaw on one's person forever. I remember some very hurting words said to me when I was 8 years old. A neighbor who was visiting, made a remark to my mother, saying that of her seven daughters (pointing at me) I was the ugliest. Those hurting words never left me and I carried them through the years. Because of those words, my self-esteem was very low for a long long time. How cruel could this neighbor be? Forty years later I ran into the same neighbor while in California. She couldn't recognize me of course. I wished to have told her how much she had hurt me. And for next year, I promised my sons that we'll have festive Christmas decorations all over the house again. This New Year, may we make it our goal to leave beautiful and loving indelible marks in people's hearts. May we not become too busy to say loving words, and to fill the needs, not only of our loved ones, but also of others. The Lord bless.